, so fa
Before we left for China we mailed a disposable camera to Hannah Foster Family. We just had them developed. This is a photo from that camera. We have not seen very many smiles from Hannah like this, so far. It looks like she is waving. The pictures we received from the Foster family show Hannah in a different light than we have seen. She is very happy with them. She has been very quiet with us. She is very scheduled and sleeps well. She eats very well. We hope her personality will start to bloom soon. We think she is potty trained, but she will not go in a western toilet. It scares her. Overall, she is a very good baby.

MaCayla's in Heaven

MaCayla on nap duty.

Let's Walk

This picuture helps put Hannah's size into perspective. She is not feeling well. She has had many poopy diapers today and we are worried about her health. She has run a low fever for the last 27 hours. We have given her medicine, which she takes like candy, but she has not improved. She is taking her third nap today at 6 pm. Later, we go to a dinner here in our hotel to celebrate our official adoption day. She is very alert yet subdued and I think once she feels better we may get a better look at her personality. She is still very aware we are not her normal family. You can see it in hers eyes, but she does not fuss. She is eating and drinking well, but will not drink any sort of formula. She loves for MaCayla to hold her.

Does She Have Teeth?

She has 6 teeth to be exact, and a smile to go with them. She does not walk on her own, but she can walk holding my hand. All the clothes we brought to China are too big for her. Even the 12 months clothes seem too big. We do not see a lot of smiles yet, but we have only had her 21 hours. She is subdued by the fever and ear ache, but she gets along with all of us. She took a nap this morning at the meeting to finalize the adoption. She is officially ours now and no one can take her away :) She wimpers when she cries. MaCayla is adjusting well and trying to help, sometimes all little bit to much. She can't help herself.

MY GIRLS

Another Gotcha Day photo. Hannah took to this biscuit right away. As I write this we have been together for 15 hours. It is 6 am. Hannah is eating a Nutri Grain Bar and drinking apple juice from a sippy cup. Mary Ellen sorry to disappoint you, but Hannah slept in her crib and Daddy is the one who has been getting her to sleep. I have the pictures to prove it too! When she woke up this morning she wanted MaCayla to hold her, but quickly let Mommy take over to feed her. Speaking of food, we could use some Mama Jo cooking. We are all losing weight. Maybe not MaCayla she seems to find enough of something. She is eating instant grits every morning. Deann just informed me Hannah is officially a Georgia girl...she is eating grits that MaCayla is feeding her. I will post some more photos later. Bye for now.

Foster Mother

This is Hannah's Foster Mother. She has 3 grown children of her own.

Last night we ate i the hotel restaurant. I ordered fried fish and received a club sandwich. Guiyang is a little backwoods, not many people speak english. Sometimes you think they can, but then you receive a club sandwich.

More Pictures!

More Gotcha Day Photos! Thank you all for the kind loving words posted in the comments. It is very emotional reading them all. We have read them all. We believe Hannah has an ear infection. She has a fever and pulls on her ear. Two babies in our group went to the hospital the first night. One with a high fever and the other fell and cut herself. She needed stitches on her head. Hannah slept some in her crib the first night, but awoke about 1 am and Deann is holding her now as I write this trying to get her back to sleep. I know Hannah feels awful, but she shows us some of her personality every minute. She is going to be quite entertaining when she starts feeling better. She is so hot to the touch and our hotel room, a 4 star hotel, has no AC. We are burning up. We are on the 20th floor and have the window open . Cars beep all night long in this small Chinese city of 1.5 million people. The city is located in the mountains and there are sky scrapers everywhere. We can't wait for the morning so we can get out of this room and feel the cooler outside air. MaCayla is up with us trying to console Hannah. Hannah is not loud, but difficult to get to sleep. I think her voice is a little muted due to congestion. So we have a louder cry to look forward to :) Tommorrow we officially adopt Hannah. I will try to post more pictures now.

GOTCHA!!!!!

What an amazing time we had today. We left Beijing with great anticipation and hope. We arrived in Guiyang with extreme anxiety. We entered our hotel with fear. We arrived in the Meeting Room with trepidation. We met Hannah with great joy and after a few tears and and a great meeting with the Foster Family we took Hannah as our own. She seemed to like me and I held her for the first 1/2 hour so she would not cry. When we got back to the room I left her with Deann and stood outside the door to listen. That seemed to work great as she cried some, but stop shortly thereafter. I came back into the room and she was OK! We went ot eat later. Hannah ate noodles, some soup and bread. She will only drink from a cup. So far she has only had water. She would not take our formula or the Chinese formula. Also, she is very small. She was wearing three pairs of split pants and three sweaters when we got her. She was wearing diapers held up by a rubber band. She had obviously never worn diapers before, as she was badly bruised on her hips by the rubber band. She is playing inher crib now with plastic cups and her Big Sister is beside herself as she watches Hannah. She can say Jei Jei and has a cute squeaky little voice. I am off to a meeting now, but I will post more pictures later. I am unable to see the blog so someone let me know if this posts. Any comments are e-mailed to me. So let me know.-Patrick

2! That's Right 2 Hours Until We Have Hannah!

Look what we found in our room when we arrived in Guiyang. Two hours and Hannah may be playing in that crib. Can you believe it! We are hoping for some good bonding time. No expectations of bliss, just time together to figure how to get to know Hannah (and Hannah to get to know us). I doubt anyone will read this before we get Hannah. It is midnight in the States, but please pray for Hannah. She may not know what to think of our big noses :) Seriously, she may not like leaving her Foster family at first. Also, pray for MaCayla as she gets use to 2nd fiddle for a few days. Then we'll have two first fiddles. Oh boy!

Updated Picture of Hannah!

This picture was taken around October 30th. We received it today at our Beijing orientation. It looks a little funny because it is a picture of a picture. Look at those darling eyes! We have another picture of her standing next to her crib. Her update said she can say Mommy and Daddy and she likes to talk. It also said she loves to put a play phone up to her ear. Talking and loves to play with the phone...and she's not even a teenager yet :) I think I may be in trouble. We get her tommorrow and we will meet the Foster Family. The handoff is scheduled for 3pm China time. So it will be 4 in the morning in the USA when we get her. The sweater she is wearing looks hand made. She seems so healthy. We are leaving to tour the Forbidden Palace and Tianamen Square now. I will post the other picture later.

Another Update Picture

This is the second of two pictures we receive today at orientation.

The Forbidden City

On Sunday after our orientation we visited Tianamen Square and The Forbidden Palace. It was very interesting and we had a very pleasant walk through the city, which is very big. We took many pictures. We are starting to feel a little better from the jet lag and just in time to get Hannah tommorrow. We are getting to know many people in our group and are enjoying their company as we all prepare for a very emotional day on Monday. Most of the children being adopted in our group seem to be older than the norm and everyone is anxious about the bonding issue.

Hutong Family

Apparently, we are now a part of this women's family. Because we are adopting a Chinese girl this cute little lady said we are now a part of the China family. I always wanted to be part of a big family. Now I can call all 1.6 billion {billion with a B) Chinese, family. By the way Mama Jo, I invited them all over for Thanksgiving Dinner. I hope you don't mind. Seriously, she was genuinely happy about our groups adoptions and so are we!

Smoozing

MaCayla smoozing with some new fans on the Great Wall of China. MaCayla says "Gotta keep the fans happy" Actually, MaCayla did not like this at all. One man picked her up and set her on his lap for a picture. He may have asked, but we couldn't understand him:)

Watch Out for That.....

The traffic in Beijing is nothing like I have ever seen. There are cars, buses, bicycles, mopeds, scooters and vehicles which defy description. They all melt together into traffic and perform a unrehearsed ballet that somehow, and I do not know how, keeps them from smashing into each other. They literally come within inches of each other and manage everytime to avoid crashing. I found myself bracing for several wrecks that never occured.

There are 16 million people in Beijing and I think we saw every one of them today. I mean there are people and more people everywhere one looks.

We toured the Great Wall today, road in a rickshaw and visited a Hutong neighborhood. The Great Wall was steep and had very uneven steps, the richshaw was fun, and the Hutong neighborhood was very insightful into the way some of the Chinese people live. It was all exhausting and MaCayla has fallen asleep again at 6pm.

Good news! We will get an updated picture of Hannah on Sunday at 9am. I will take a picture of the picture and post it here around noon Beijing time, so when you wake up Sunday morning you can see the latest picture of Hannah. We are very excited to get an updated picture eventhough we will have her the next day. Stay tuned!

The Great Walk!

Notice in the top of the picture how steep the climb is up the wall...and that is less than half way up at this section. It is an exhausting walk. Can you find Deann and MaCayla in this picture?

It's 4 am, Again

For the second night in a row we are awake at 4 am and ready for breakfast. We do feel better today, but we need to sleep later tommorrow and Monday morning before we get Hannah.

Smile

I thought this was a great picture of the Big Sister so I wanted to share it with the Grandparents! MaCayla is a trooper...so far. Seriously, she is so excited to be here she can't stop smiling.

Serious Jet Lag

Here it is 1 am and we are all wide awake:( We have been reading everyones comments and we wanted to thank you all for your well wishes and encouragement. Believe me...we are strengthen and encouraged by your heart felt words. As the days grow closer to receiving Hannah I get that roller coaster feeling in my stomach in anticipation of seeing her. We may receive a picture and update on Sunday from our agency. Monday is the big day! Pray for us... that we adjust better to China time so we can sychronize with Hannah.

Yesterday was very relaxed. We ate breakfast in the hotel at their amazing breakfast bar. They will short order cook your eggs any way you like (scrambled, omelet, over easy...my favorite, etc.). Later, we went shopping at a very modern mall with six levels. We only bought one baby outfit to replace the clothes Hannah will be wearing on Gotcha Day. After that we tried to eat lunch at 3 pm. MaCayla wanted to swim in the hotel indoor pool,so we did. We didn't swim much because there was a hot tub in the swimming room and it felt much better than the cold swimming pool. We skipped supper and came back to the room and watched a DVD. Deann fell asleep before 6pm and MaCayla followed shortly thereafter. I tried t0 stay awake, but succumbed to Mr. Sandman at 7:30pm. Now we are all awake at 1 in the morning and very hungry. Only five hours until the breakfast bar opens:0

RX

This is a pharmacy in Beijing. Count the people in white coats. There are nine of them in this tiny store.

It is amazing how many people work in the retail stores. A childrens clothing store we visited had 16 employees in a store a quarter of the size of Madison Drug. At first I thought they were all shoppers. Incidentally, there were few to no people shopping.

What's This!

Does anyone know what this thing is? Deann and I ate one for breakfast. We must have had a momentary lapse in judgement:) Scroll down to see what is inside.

MaCayla did not eat this Mama Jo

A Room With a View

This is the view from our hotel window. It is almost 4 in the morning and we are all wide awake. We are trying to adjust to the time zone. We are anxious to get going today and take it easy at the same time. We plan on eating a very early breakfast and then venturing out into the city for a walk. We need to unscramble our brains. Way too much informaton overload yesterday as we arrived in Beijing and were extremely tired. On top of that I have a sinus infection, which I am finally letting Deann treat me for. I gave in because the pressure in my head is hurting so bad. I wanted to try and beat the bug myself. I can't believe we are so close to finally meeting Hannah Yafang. I will keep you all posted of our adventures here in Beijing.

We're Here

Here we are in Chicago. Ready to go to Beijing. We arrived in Beijing after 24.5 hours of travel. MaCayla slept some, Deann slept less and I did not sleep at all! I am very drowsy as I type this so you will have to excuse any typos. Our flights were very uneventful and smooth. We arrived in Beijing and immediately went to our hotel. As we were riding along in the mini-bus I began to notice people staring at us. I felt like an animal in the zoo. We went to a restaurant to eat supper and no one there spoke english. We simply pointed to pictures and they brought us mostly what we thought we ordered. Our server was a young girl who felt compelled to help MaCayla eat, so she started feeding MaCayla with her chop sticks. It was quite hilarious as MaCayla did not know if she should let her. MaCayla was so taken aback she forgot to chew and swallow the food the girl placed in her mouth and she sat there for a few seconds with a large leek looking thing hanging out of her mouth. Everyone in the restaurant was staring at us. One man refused to be seated next to us. He looked disturbed that we were even there. Everyone else just smiled as they stared. I was too tired to smile back. It is time for bed. We are only a few days from getting Hannah, Amen. Hopefully, we will be refreshed after a good nights sleep.

Travel Schedule

Beijing arrival 10 November
Holt orientation 13 November
Date to province * 14 November Province destination Guiyang Gotcha Day
Date to Guangzhou 19 November
U.S. consulate visa appointment 22 November
Visa issued 23 November
U.S. return date 24 November

One Week Away

Deann and I discovered a great way for couples with children to communicate. It only took us seven years to figure this one out. Are you ready? OK, it is simple...instead of waking up at your normal time (like 6-6:30 am) wake up at 4 or 5 am. Put on a pot of coffee and relax while you chat away undisturbed. Seriously, this happened to us this morning and it was one of the best conversations we have had in a long time. We have led very frantic lives for a long time now and this may be the way we have to communicate until MaCayla and Hannah graduate from college:)

Speaking of Hannah, we leave for China in one week. MaCayla is the most excited I have ever seen her, Deann is anxious and I am my laid back self (secretly I am anxious, too).

Merry Christmas?

That's right, were in the Christmas spirit already! Deann came up with the idea of decorating the house for Christmas before we leave for China. Crazy you say? Well, we have to keep up our traditions and our tradition is to decorate for Christmas on Thanksgiving Day. We return from China on Thanksgiving Day and we might be a little too tired to decorate:) that day. Hence, Deann's plan to decorate now. We have Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas decorations up at the same time. Truthfully, I just can't get into the Christmas spirit this early, but it will be nice to return to a fully decorated house. Especially, since we have Hannah to think about and decorating may have taken a back seat to adjusting to our new family. Not to mention the jet lag.

Hannah's Tree (Pagoda Dogwood)

Happy Birthday Hannah!

Hannah is one today! Happy birthday Ya Fang! Because we will not have her today, we are planting a tree in her honor. We will be celebrating after church with Mama Jo, Big Pop and the Adkins at the Happy China Restaurant. We miss her so terribly. At times there seems to be a huge hole in our hearts. This may be the hardest day waiting so far.

We are literally counting the days. MaCayla and Deann created a calendar and posted it in the kitchen. MaCayla marks of each day as they pass.

We understand the Chinese often shave a child's head to celebrate their first birthday. We really hope Hannah's Foster Family doesn't practice this tradition, but if they do we repect their right to honor Ya Fang. May God bless them for helping take care of this precious little girl.

Of course when Hannah arrives in the US we will have a mega celebration for her birthday. Deann and I invited the world to MaCayla's first birthday. It is so funny to look back at the pictures of the people we invited to MaCayla's first party. I know many of them were glad to come, but they had to question how we doted over MaCayla. We did and we still do. Despite her parents MaCayla is a very mature, well adjusted seven year old:)

We love you Hannah Yafang!

Guizhou Terraces

Guizhou is famous for the beautiful terraces carved into the hillsides.

WooHoo!

We are leaving on November 9th for Beijing and arriving on the 10th. We will have Hannah on November 14th when we travel to Guizhou Province. On November 19th we fly to Guangzhou to receive Hannah's VISA and we return to Atlanta on Thanksgiving Day the 24th. Now all we have to do is figure out how to get to Beijing. Hopefully, this month will fly by.

Officially Unofficial

We have an official Consulate appointment for November 22, 2005, but our travel dates are unconfirmed until next week. Most likely we will start our travel on November 8th. This is one week later than we had hoped for :( Also, we will likely return to the States on Thanksgiving Day. I have never flown on Thanksgiving, but I imagine it is not very crowded. We have been handed every delay imaginable in this process ( no offense to those who suffered through the SARS delay), but nothing worth having is ever easy to obtain. Just like we struggled to have MaCayla which made us stronger and more grateful, so has this process that we believe has been more difficult than Deann's pregnancy. You see Mother Nature doesn't allow more than a few weeks delay from due date to birth. And the baby is with you...physically. We are are at 10 months from DTC to gotcha day. Two months longer than expected and Hannah is not with us.

A Long Journey

An anonymous Chinese philosopher once said- The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Special Delivery

Try the link below to view a video of Deann accosting the Fedex guy as he delivers the "Referral Package"! After you are redirected to the video site, click the play button or the video will not start.

http://www.vimeo.com/clip=11581

Travel Approval , But No Travel Date?

We finally have our travel approval, but we still do not know the exact date we will be leaving for Beijing... argh! Our adoption agency received the approval on Friday and quickly sent for consulate dates (consulate dates are needed to get Hannah's VISA to the U.S.), but it was already Saturday in China, hence the Consulate was closed and will be closed until Thursday, October 6th. Another holiday week in China. It seems every Chinese holiday has slowed our adoption process. The Chinese do not take one or two day holidays it seems. Their holidays last a week or more(we need more of that in the U.S.). It looks like we will be leaving sometime before the first or second weekend in November. We also received our VISA's this week. We are settin' on ready, and all dressed up with no date to go:).

Blog Name

"Expect Miracles" was taken from a suncatcher I bought for Deann while she was in exploratory surgery in 1997. I gave the stained glass suncatcher to her after she awakened. Those were dark days for Deann and I as we struggled to understand why we were not being blessed with children. Deann's surgery was another step we took to determine why we were infertile. Not long after Deann surgery and several failed attempts at AI we quit the treatments. We were given little explanation why we were unsuccessful. We were both healthy. Of course everyone on the planet gave us the old "just relax" advice. Take note, if you ever say that to a couple experiencing fertility problems, be glad they are unarmed (especially if you say it to Deann) :).

I was fully expecting a miracle to happen in our lives and it did. MaCayla Joann Cook 6lbs 10 oz, born August 26, 1998. No fertility treatments involved. Now we have another miracle. Chen Ya Fang, 7 lbs., born October 23, 2004 in Guizhou, China.

Map of China

This map of China shows Guiyang in the south central portion of China directly above Viet Nam. That is where we believe Hannah lives (she could be in another town near Guiyang, we just do not know for sure) and where we will be traveling in 2-3 weeks to get her. We will also go to Beijing and Guangzhou to complete necessary adoption protocols.

Update!

We have an update on Hannah. We were totally surprised on Friday night when we received an e-mail around 10pm. She weighs 16.7 lbs and is 27 inches long. We also received head, chest and foot measurements. Her feet are 10cm. That is half the size of MaCayla’s. She looks so much bigger in her photos… all those layers of clothes. What a hoot!

 

Guizhou

Hannah was born in Guizhou Province in Southwestern China. She was found the day she was born at the town goverment building in Nanshao. You will find Nanshao on some maps, but don't bother trying to find out anything else about this town. I have tried and can find nothing. Very shortly thereafter she was taken to the county government office of Jianhe County. A few days later she was taken to Kaili to the Qiandongnan SWI. A week after she was born she was placed in foster care where we believe she remains today. Her birthday will be October 23. At first we hoped we would be with her on this special day, but Deann communicated with another mother in our travel group whose daughter was born October 26 and she would likely miss her daughters's first birthday also. This very sensible mother said she was glad her daughter would spend her first birthday with her foster parents as they deserve one last special occasion with the foster daughter they have devoted their lives to. Well, this put it into perspective for us. Sometimes we can be so selfish, only thinking of ourselves. Now we are at peace with missing Hannah's first birthday and are glad for the foster parents.

General Musings
Guizhou, "No three days without rain, no three cents, and no three feet that are flat". How depressing a description. The infant mortality was 50% in 1934. Parents waited a month after their childrens birth to celebrate. The people plant, tend and harvest rice on terraces carved into the hillsides using oxen. This back breaking work has produced a hardy, strong people who take nothing for granted. The landscape is beautiful in all the pictures we have seen. There are more Chinese minority groups in Guizhou than any other province. The area were Hannah was found is know as The Autonomous Prefecture of the Dong & Miao Minorities. One description I read about the people of Jianhe County is the are fair skinned, strong and beautiful. If you know anything about these areas of China please post them in the comments section.

VISA, FCC, and Guizhou Website

We sent off for our VISA's today. It is a little disconcerting sending our original passports to a travel agency and then to the Chinese Consulate, but that is the the way it is done.

We attended a FCC (Families with Chinese Children) picnic in Athens on Sunday. What an amazing group of people and children. They were all friendly and very interested in our referral and travel plans. Unfortunately, none of them had been to Guizhou where Hannah resides. I was not surprised by this as Guizhou seems to be an area that does not refer many children for adoption.

I found a web page of a young man's adventures in Guizhou. He is from Hong Kong and traveled with family to Guizhou to inspect school buildings his Granfather had built in some of the poorest areas of China. There are many photos on his web page of everday living in cities and remote villages. He has a fascination with food and photographed everything he ate on his two week trip. He gives descriptions of the food and many of the dishes are quite "exotic". Don't read this on a full stomach. His english is very good, but unusual in his descriptions. Evidently, drinking alcohol is a favorite past time of the people in this area, because as the "Guest of Honor" in many of the places he visits he is required to toast all of his hosts, many times. Here is the link http://kamleung.com/triplog/0208guizhou/guizhou.htm Bon appetite!

To My Fair Lady

Once upon a time there was a fair lady,
whose dream was to have a second baby.
She prayed and she cried,
few understood how hard she tried.
Her tears grew into a pond of sadness,
driving her at times to it’s shore of madness.
Her days grew dark and dim,
as her hope seemed so slim.
As her faith began to diminish,
a loving voice said “wait, I am not finished”.
Then came the least of these from the east,
her shimmering eyes seemed to calm the fair lady’s grieving beast.
Slowly, her days grew brighter,
the burden a little lighter.
The little one from the east,
brought a message of hope and love, a banquet feast.
With her faith filled,
the lady’s heart began to still.
She began a journey, but not without fear,
finally, her days had a different kind of tear.
The trip began traveling toward the sun as it set,
but this was no reason to ever fret.
At last a brown eyed beauty,
filled her arms wearing tiny booties.
The pond of tears began to dry up,
as she fed the babe from a little cup.
Another little one from the east,
has filled a heart with hope and love unceased

Travel Planning-Not!

We received the following e-mail from our adoption agency. At first glance I was very excited as I thought we were going to get some details on our intinerary while in China, but reading further I realized it was a pre-planning meeting. Oh well, any agency contact is good contact. If you are adopting you know what I mean.

Dear China Families:

We are writing to invite families who received a match on 1 September 2005 to participate in a travel planning conference call scheduled for the date listed below. This call is for all families regardless of the province your child is from and will review travel planning for your adoption travel to China. We will discuss your trip inside China later, during the call we conduct for each group when travel dates are set.

Now We Wait...Again!!!

It has been two weeks since we found out who our Daughter is...Chen Ya Fang or as we will call her Hannah Yafang Cook. We are still on top of the world. And we wait for our Travel Approval (TA) from the Chinese Government which should come at the end of September or very early October. We will likey travel to China at the end of October or beginning of November. Deann is packing. MaCayla continues to pray for her little sister and we are all very anxious to be close to Hannah.

I bought MaCayla a roll up piano today so she can continue to practice her piano lessons while in China. The piano is made of rubber and shaped like a mat with a speaker on the end. She loves to play and practice. The piano rolls up and fits in a small case that can easily fit in her back pack.

I read a blog last night about a medical team that went to China to perform surgeries for orphaned children. Oh my! What a need for the children of China. The name of the organization is Love Without Borders. The blog address is http://lwbchina.blogspot.com. If you don't want to cry do not click on that link.

Sisters!!!

A picture is worth a thousand words!
Patrick Cook

Introducing Hannah Yafang Cook!

Dear Friends and Family,
Finally! We are blessed to have a new Daughter and little Sister. The description we were given says she is very energetic and smiles all the time.
Love,
Deann, MaCayla & Patrick Cook


Chinese name: Chen Ya Fang
Soon to be: Hannah Yafang Cook (we think)
Birthdate: October 23, 2004
Foster care through Qiandongnan SWI, Guizhou


Patrick Cook

THE CALL!

Deann received the call today at 6:35 PM. Chen Ya Fang is her name (soon to be Hannah). Her birthday is October 23, 2004. She is in foster care in Guiyang, a city in Guizhou Province. In March she weighed 14 lbs and was 24 inches long. Her Social Welfare Institute is called Qiandongnan (Orphan House of Southwest City). Holt is Fedexing us 3 pictures of her on Saturday, along with more information about her. Our contact at Holt said she is adorable and smiling in one of the pictures.

Evidently, Holt does not do very many adoption from this province...according to our contact at Holt. This is a recipe for an adventurous trip to China as our guides will probably have little experience in this part of China. I have already read that changing money and finding places to eat can be difficult in this part of China. It's all about getting Hannah. "Whatever it takes" is our new motto.

MaCayla cried as Deann received the call. Deann cried and I wiped away a few tears when she called me with the news.

We are ready to go to Guiyang, China, now! Just a little longer sweet Ya Fang.

Take a Deep Breath

We are ever so anxious to hear about referrals this month. The feelings can be overwhelming at times. It is impossible to stop looking at the yahoo message boards for any rumors. I always tell Deann to stop looking at the boards to keep her sanity, but I do not practice what I preach. The boards are our lifeline. We have got to find out something soon or we are going to lose it!

Nothing worthwhile in life is ever easy. Why should this be any different?

Some of the things running through my mind, randomly (and Deann's too, I'm sure).

How old will Hannah be?
What will she look like?
How big will she be?
Where is she?
What is her name?
Who is taking care of her?
What is her personality like?
Will she be walking, crawling, talking?

The wait will surely get harder when we receive her picture. Life seems to be on hold until we know something.

NEXT

The July referrals went through 1/7/2005. We have a DTC of 1/28/2005. That means this time next month (around MaCayla's birthday 8/26) we will have our referral of Hannah. We will know her name, the province she resides in China, her weight, her health status, and receive a picture of her shortly thereafter. Something would have to go terribly wrong for us not to receive the referral next month, so pray for us and Hannah as we eagerly anticipate next month's referrals.

Funny Feeling

Deann and I both woke up this morning with strong feelings about Hannah. We don't know what to make of this. Maybe we will find out the significance, if any, after we find out more about Hannah. I speculated that maybe our file was moved to the matching room where the match of our family to Hannah will finally take place. I had this feeling one other time earlier this year in January. It is hard to explain the feeling only that I feel something like anxiety, like I did when I realized I was a Father.

Speculation

As we continue to wait for our referral the wait gets harder. Every month we anxiously await news of referrals and carefully watch the dates, hoping we will be surprised that the dates go further into the next month than we had imagined. Unfortunately, the CCAA (China Center for Adoption Affairs) has not surprised us, but as each referral batch is posted we can continue to hope.

We know another precious daughter is awaiting us at the end of all this and we have faith that all will be well and this agonizing wait will be a distant memory, but just the same we can't wait!

Because the last batch of referrals did not make it to the month of December (DTC) for our agency we were very disappointed. Our DTC is January 28, 2005, which puts us 2 to 3 referrals out. Right now referrals are coming once per month with 3 to 5 weeks of DTC dates. We are 9 weeks out with our 1-28-2005 DTC date.

Some very close friends recently gave us a boost of encouragment by showing their support for our decision to adopt. Their support means so much to our family. It is very humbling when people go out of their way to do more than is necessary to support our decision. We only hope that we can be the kind of friends they have been to us.

Hannah is somewhere in China right now. Deann and I would not be surprised if she was born very close to both of our Birthday's in March. That would make her 4 months old as I write this. That would make Hannah 7 months old when we get her. That may be unrealistic now that I think about it. It is more likely she would be 9-11 months old. If everything remains steady with the CCAA we will probably be traveling to China at the end of October.